tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19835303.post7855858230580115487..comments2023-08-18T07:04:22.633-07:00Comments on Areté: Depressing muchLifewishhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07133804300464048756noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19835303.post-92231584798005704542008-10-13T11:37:00.000-07:002008-10-13T11:37:00.000-07:00Heh, I've been there too. I was recently shocked w...Heh, I've been there too. I was recently shocked when a friend of mine* commented that I'd successfully pulled several times when he was present, I just hadn't noticed it.<BR/><BR/>There's definitely an issue here. False positives get you slapped or treated like you're an asshole. False negatives miss you an opportunity and may upset people. <BR/><BR/>And detecting mutual attraction will never be easy. Neither party wants to admit it first, so both parties are actively trying to deceive the other. Bummer.<BR/><BR/>Basically there's two good solutions:<BR/><BR/>1) Phone a friend. It's you she's (possibly) trying to hide her feelings from; someone else may be able to get better readings.<BR/><BR/>2) Say "screw it" and ask her out for a drink anyway.<BR/><BR/>Option 1 is less scary; option 2 looks less yellow-bellied. Pick your poison.<BR/><BR/>Option 3 is to set up a system where both of you submit a 1 if you like the other person and a 0 if you don't. A computer multiplies the numbers together and tells both of you if the result is a 1. However, suggesting this to a girl pretty much guarantees a 0.<BR/><BR/>* Who actually gets girls, in both senses of the phrase.Lifewishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07133804300464048756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19835303.post-28381990668320641652008-10-08T03:18:00.000-07:002008-10-08T03:18:00.000-07:00Ah, I have the opposite problem - I have very litt...Ah, I have the opposite problem - I have very little idea of how to "test the waters" even with girls that are very definitely showing an interest. And by the time a day or two has passed, I'm no longer convinced that my assessment of their interest was accurate... Blasted informal social communication! Why can't there be logical rules? ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19835303.post-14048287991636277402008-10-07T08:12:00.000-07:002008-10-07T08:12:00.000-07:00Well, there is some hope: once you know a few girl...Well, there is some hope: once you know a few girls, that circle will tend to naturally expand. For example, I'm currently attending weekly DVD nights hosted by a (female) friend from uni, and one of her mates may possibly be showing a slight interest...<BR/><BR/>The trick here seems to be that at no point do you hit on anyone who isn't already hitting on you. If you do, everyone recategorises you as randy and/or desperate, and the entire group closes ranks against you.<BR/><BR/>For guys, the urge to test the waters with every cute girl they meet is surprisingly strong. I live in hope that it can be overcome.Lifewishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07133804300464048756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19835303.post-67323589694371962342008-10-07T05:28:00.000-07:002008-10-07T05:28:00.000-07:00Good points all, dammit. I guess I'm just going to...Good points all, dammit. I guess I'm just going to have to go with my original plan of fortifying myself with booze and misanthropy. ;)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19835303.post-8530042880740399382008-10-06T13:46:00.000-07:002008-10-06T13:46:00.000-07:00Dance classes is not a bad idea, I actually tried ...Dance classes is not a bad idea, I actually tried salsa at one point. The problems with that were twofold:<BR/><BR/>1) I'm out-of-shape enough that I don't look terribly impressive on the dancefloor<BR/><BR/>2) Every other young male in the vicinity had apparently had the same idea - the ratio was 2:1, I kid ye not.<BR/><BR/>Maybe joining a gym would work - that'd solve issue 1 too. Problem is, I'm elitist in my preferences: a girl's brain is more important than her body. From what I've seen of gyms, they tend to favour people who focus on the latter.<BR/><BR/>Actually, as far as I can tell, intelligent girls are mostly in the same boat as us. They stay at home most evenings watching DVDs or reading, and only really speak to work colleagues or pre-existing friends. Short of starting a Jane Austen fanclub in the area, I can't see any easy way of getting round that.<BR/><BR/>I guess this is part of why religious folks join churches.Lifewishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07133804300464048756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19835303.post-52288074422649971752008-10-02T03:42:00.000-07:002008-10-02T03:42:00.000-07:00I know exactly what you mean... It's been 14 years...I know <I>exactly</I> what you mean... It's been 14 years for me now (I'm 35), and the worrying thing is that I'm no longer sure that I even <I>want</I> to fall off that wagon - I've gotten too used to it. Still, being single doesn't necessarily mean being lonely - I have some decent friends, and I have some hobbies that occasionally get me out of the house and meeting other people. But yeah, I do occasionally find myself thinking that I could probably lie dead in my flat for a month before anybody noticed... <BR/><BR/>If you want to meet girls, try dancing classes. And do it soon - the longer you stay single, the harder it gets to do anything about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com